50 Anecdotes To Get To Know Me Better

1) I am an Aquarius, which matters to me because I’m the kind of person who likes to catagorise human behaviour based on personality types.

2) I really liked Star Wars when I was a kid because it was a way to bond with my dad. It was also my first introduction to Sci Fi and I like sci fi a lot.

3) I completely dropped my fascination with Star Wars when I discovered Harry Potter. I became so obsessed with Harry Potter that I had a trunk set up just in case Hogwarts was real.

4) I always wanted to wear glasses growing up but I didn’t need them until I was 14 years old and I didn’t need to wear them all the time until I was about 18.

5) My first celebrity crushes weren’t on popular attractive men of the time but on comedians. When asked about who I found attractive I was embarrassed and said Heath Ledger because I had heard Mum say he had nice shoulders.

6) I have loved South Park since I was 8 years old. I don’t like toilet humour at all but I find political satire and dark humour to be interesting.

7) I would never miss the Simpsons growing up. Another activity I shared with my Dad when he would get home from work. The divorce really deeply affected me because I was a daddy’s girl up to that point. I continued to watch the Simpsons without him.

8) I loved video games growing up, especially ones with role playing aspects. I also loved books where I could pick a path and board games with intensive story lines.

9) I didn’t sleep well as a kid and found that doing rosaries or praying over and over helped. I had a lot of anxiety and channelled it into the routine and basic rules of religion.

10) I was often put in to gifted classes. I was in gifted art classes as a kid and selected for extra curricular opportunities. I was smart but I also had to put a lot of effort in and I did so to get approval from my parents and teachers.

11) I’ve always been clumsy and uncoordinated but I tried to participate in sports and dancing on several occasions growing up.

12) I have been fascinated by medicine, childbirth, and pregnancy since I was 5 years old. I would read anything about pregnancy or babies. I guess you could say I’ve been casually studying as hobby for almost two decades.

13) I used to wish I had an older brother so I didn’t have to go to school alone and so he could defend me when I got picked on. Really I just wanted a close relationship with my sibling and couldn’t imagine ever being close with my younger sister at the time. Sometimes I resented the pressure of being the oldest.

14) When I was around 11 my dad wanted to move to Scotland and he sat me down and asked if I would move with him. I didn’t want to leave mum and he didn’t want to leave without us so he stayed in Australia. My sister would have gone because she was a really young and obsessed with the Loch Ness monster.

15) For a few months when I was growing up we didn’t own a tv. Our washing machine broke really often. And mum forced us to drink Soy milk.

16) I loved scaring my sister when we were little so I would devise different ways to trick her or jump out at her. This got me in trouble a lot.

17) For almost a decade I thought I would never get married or have kids. I was determined to move to the city, be successful and independent. I pictured myself thin and good looking like all the successful women on tv. I wanted to be strong and in charge.

18) Wearing boots makes me feel confident. Especially my steel caps.

19) When I walk backstage I have to stop myself from crying with joy. Every time.

20) My family has a history of not knowing what kind of gifts I wanted. On more than two occasions I was given the same gift from multiple family members for the same birthday.

21) I loved the concept of spies. I had this book from my parents that was a spy guide written for kids. Ever since I’ve really wanted a jacket with pockets hidden inside. My sister later became even more obsessed with forensics and everyone forgot that I was ever interested.

22) I liked anime in my teens. Again everyone forgot about this when my sister started liking it too and got much more invested than I was.

23) I got over my intense fear of fire by lighting incense. My room constantly smelled of incense. Side note: This was also around the time I was obsessed with Daughter by Pearl Jam and would listen to it on repeat in a dark room full of incense like the strangest ten year old ever.

24) When we moved once I left notes in the door stops as a time capsule. I can’t remember what most of them said but I do remember listing the name of the prime minister at the time.

25) There are very few people I still talk to from highschool. I have lost contact with a few people I actually cared about. I think about all them all the time.

26) I love seahorses because they suck at being fish. I also love meerkats because they’re paranoid. Basically any animal that’s just a complete hot mess.

27) I love stationary. Always have, always will. I once spent over $100 in OfficeWorks on sharpies. I miss getting new pens and pencils for school. Fresh notebooks are life.

28) I’ve always wanted long hair but I’ve never been able to grow my hair out enough. Even as a child. I have had a pixie cut or a bob for most of my life.

29) I’ve always felt weirdly connected to Greece and Malta but not Italy. Maybe it’s an ancestry thing but I don’t know.

30) French is my favourite language.

31) Italian food is my favourite kind of food

32) I love good calamari and crave fish all the time but I don’t like prawns or shellfish.

33) I used to get jealous of people who got nose bleeds in class and wished I would get one. Proving once again I was a strange kid.

34) The first time I felt connected to other women as a woman was the time I got my period and bled onto my dress in biology class. Some of the other girls helped me. It triggered a change in my perspective. I argued with other girls a lot in high school but that was the most supportive interaction I had that entire time.

35) The relationships I’ve had with the men in my life: my father, grandfathers, stepdad, uncles, friends, and especially boyfriends… have had the greatest amount of impact on my identity today in both negative and positive ways.

36) I have always been mocked for my strong beliefs… as early as 4 years old I’ve been arguing for equality and peace, and I’ve been laughed at.

37) I’ve always wished I could skate and play several instruments but I’ve failed miserably which is probably why I find those skills so impressive and attractive in others.

38) I hope my descendants will care enough to find me on their family tree the way I’ve found my ancestors. I don’t ever want to be forgotten.

39) I’ve spent my life scared of everything. Even from a really young age. I once wrote a list of my fears and triggers. That list is now about a quarter of what it was and that doesn’t ever get acknowledged.

40) I have a lot of regret about our wedding day but I’m so glad we got married. I just wish the day had worked out as we had planned it.

41) I miss my tree house. My mum built me one as a kid but the real estate made us remove it from the tree of the property we were renting.

42) I love rain and wind. Even though I grew up terrified of storms I have some great memories from my childhood of bunkering down. I was also irrationally scared of tornados for a lot of years.

43) I watched the Wizard of Oz at bible study enough times to become fixated.

44) I thought I hated musicals until I worked on one. I avoided musicals growing up. When mum watched them I would roll my eyes and leave the room. I found them annoying and boring. Watching Grease for the first time changed my mind a little but working on my first show changed everything.

45) I worked hard to become good at communicating because I feel an intense need to be understood. I often feel ignored or misunderstood and therefore judged. My goal is to find people who can understand me without my need to communicate and explain everything all the time.

46) I always wanted to own and run a lolly shop and seriously planned on dropping out of high school to do so.

47) I had a detailed plan of buying a van and travelling up the coast with 3 friends the moment I turned 18. I had the friends and plans when I started high school but when I changed schools those plans went out the window.

48) I always imagined getting married on the beach. Blue and yellow would have been my wedding colours. My actual wedding was on a farm and our colours were navy and silver.

49) My favourite flower growing up were Frangipanis because they’re common near the beach. My teen bedroom was painted blue and yellow and I had frangipani motif curtains. I even put frangipani oil in my hair occasionally. I went on to like yellow roses, which are supposed to represent friendship. Now I love daisies, all my favourite flowers have been common and associated with happiness.

50) When I was scared of vampires as a kid. I later became obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and would carry stakes and crosses around. Mum taught me to learn everything there was to know about the things that scared me in order to get over my fear. I applied this to my fear of dying by beginning to plan my funeral at 7 years old.

52: Expecto Patronum

It’s been a while since I’ve discussed something nerdy. This is going to fulfil that requirement as I want to discuss the concept of the patronus charm. If you are not a fan of Harry Potter, let me bring you up to speed. In JK Rowling’s Wizarding World there is a magical charm used to protect yourself against dementors, which are large soul sucking creatures. Obviously the dementors are a physical representation of depression as they make you feel unbearably sad and literally suck the life from you. The patronus charm is cast by conjuring your happiest memory. The spell is supposedly very difficult to cast successfully. Those witches and wizards will know that they have cast the spell correctly as an apparition made of light in the form of an animal will appear to fend off the attacker. 

According to Pottermore “the patronus is the awakened secret self that lies dormant until needed”, there is a quiz on the website which will provide you with your patronus animal from a preset list. I remain unconvinced by this method of determining what my patronus animal would be. There seems to be a few set rules for what your patronus will be. 
1) It represents protection. Whether this is protection given by the strongest part of yourself or representative of another person or trait.

2) It is unlikely to be your favourite animal. In rare cases a person will conjure a patronus in the form of your favourite animal but this is usually a sign of eccentricity. “Here is a wizard who may not be able to hide their essential self in common life, who may, indeed, parade tendencies that others might prefer to conceal.” (source

3) The form of a patronus can change throughout your lifetime. This is usually caused by a shift in your character whether caused by love or grief. 

4) Usually the animal is native to your own country.

5) It is possible, although extremely rare, for a patronus to take on the form of an extinct or mythological creature.
Having covered all that, I have been curious what this would mean for me. If I were a witch in the Harry Potter universe, what form would my patronus take? I have compiled a list of animals and why I think they might be likely.

Octopus:

Specifically, a blue ringed octopus. These creatures are native to Australia, fulfilling one of the main criteria. The blue ringed octopus is quite small, approximately 5 to 8 inches, yet deadly to humans. They are calm creatures but if handled or irritated they will kill you. Octopuses fascinate me as they are extremely intelligent creatures despite looking very strange. 

Duck:

Ducks are not my favourite animal yet my family seems to associate them with me. When I was a teenager, and a student of photography, I found that ducks were willing to allow me to approach them for photographs. Ducks trust me for some reason. I believe in a lot of way I am similar to ducks. The shape of my feet, for instance, makes me an exceptional swimmer. Also I find that ducks are often considered clumsy or foolish, which are traits I inhabit also. I think it would be amusing to have a duck defend you from a dementor. In many ways ducks are representative of childhood and happiness so I suppose it would make an appropriate patronus.

Cat:

Ask anyone in my life what animal they associate with me and they will answer cats. I have half a dozen pet cats. They are my favourite commonly domesticated animal. I don’t think they would be my patronus however as I don’t believe my subconscious is similar to a cat in any way. 

Platypus:

As with the duck and octopus I have an affinity with aquatic or semi aquatic animals so I think my patronus would be an animal comfortable in water. The platypus is another animal native to Australia. While this animal appears to be a Frankenstein’s monster of many other animals, it is truely unique. A marsupial with webbed feet and a duck’s bill, it is covered in sleek fur similar to a beaver. The male of the species has a secret defensive in the form of a poisonous spur on its rear legs. This poison is extremely painful to humans and deadly to dogs. I believe a platypus would be a surprising patronus yet fitting.

Seahorse:

I love seahorses, they are definitely on my top five list of animals. My favourite thing about seahorses is just how bad they seem to be at survival. In some cases if a seahorse were to let go of it’s anchor object with it’s tail it could float away in the current and not have the strength to return to it’s spot. For a marine animal, the seahorse is not a satisfactory swimmer, moving very slowly and using a lot of energy. Such a fragile creature would be very much inappropriate as a patronus.

Albatross:

Birds are a common patronus so why not the albatross? Albatrosses are large seabirds, some of the largest flying birds in the world, with wingspans up to 12 feet. They’re exceptional fliers and can travel large distances with very little exertion. The albatross has been used as a metaphor for a curse or burden since the publication of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”. Albatrosses can be considered a good or bad omen depending on the circumstances.

Frog:

My grandmother hated frogs. My family having a dark senses of humour, would purchase ceramic frogs for my grandmother to display around her home and in her garden. As much as she disliked frogs her grandchildren began to associate frogs with her. My comforting memories of my beloved grandmother can be illustrated by the presence of frogs, therefore I would not be surprised if after her death my patronus changed formed to a frog.

As this is all a work of fiction I will never know what my patronus would be, just as no other fan can ever know for sure. It is fascinating to speculate however.

Chapter 23: These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things.

I’ve found myself talking about literature often in this blog. This was never my intention. I don’t see myself as the kind of person who talks about books or even particularly enjoys them. I consider my first love to be film which was closely followed by theatre. When I discovered that I could be involved in theatre and make a world come alive it changed my life. Before then I didn’t realise that I could be a part of this world without being an actor. I have only acted once in my life which was in a small town production of The Importance Of Being Earnest held in a local school hall. I was seventeen and broke my rule of never leaving the safety (and thrill) of backstage for what I consider to be my favourite play and also the first I had ever read (at the age of about seven).

I would never have even noticed the performing arts industry if it wasn’t for film and television. I was fascinated by these forms of story telling as early as I can remember. I get very passionate when discussing my favourite films. I honestly hold several films, television shows and stage productions accountable for changing my life. This may sound over zealous to many but I truly believe I wouldn’t be the same person if I hadn’t experienced these stories. I say experience because to me that’s how it feels. It’s hard to put into words what I mean when I try to describe how or why they affect me.

The best I can relate it to is the soaring ranges of emotions that music can evoke. I relate the feeling to music and it occurs to me that all the films and stage shows I hold so close to my heart feature music heavily or are indeed musicals. My favourite films and especially musicals give me this feeling in my chest that I can’t express. They make me feel so happy and fulfilled. It’s almost like a type of nourishment as though I am full of the very best tasting foods I could imagine. It’s a type of satisfying high. Like sex.

I feel like musicals have touched me more so than films. This might be because of the ability music has to reach people and make them feel things. My favourite musicals are Rent, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and Next to Normal. I live in rural Australia so my experience with these shows exists thanks to movie adaptations, DVDs of live recordings, Broadway cast soundtracks and eagerly following news of the shows on the Internet while wishing I could fly to New York in a second to see the magic in person.

I was inspired to write this particular blog while listening to the soundtrack of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Specifically “The Origin Of Love”… on repeat. Hedwig is my freshest love of all as I was late to the Hedwig bandwagon and only discovered this amazing musical last year while browsing movies to watch on cable. It was during the early hours of the morning, as most things I do take place, I was alone and spent the entire time wishing I wasn’t so that I could share what I was feeling with someone else. After that first viewing I spent hours upon hours on the Internet gorging myself on information.

Rent was the first musical I fell in love with that I was not actively working on. I watched videos on YouTube followed by the movie and then the recording of the Broadway show. I listened to soundtrack on repeat for weeks memorising as many lyrics as I could. I designed a tattoo to express my love (which I haven’t gotten… Yet). I watched multiple documentaries on my new favourite musical. When I found out how the writer of the show, Jonathan Larson, had died before opening night I was profoundly touched. No one I knew outside of my theatre group had heard of Rent and I felt like I had this wonderful secret. I forced a lot of my friends to watch the show but not everyone was as impressed as I was. On my mental list of musical loves Rent holds a nostalgic place next to the first show I ever worked on (an awfully cheesy highschool musical called Back to the 80s) and the first professional musical I ever saw live (Guys and Dolls at the Capitol Theatre in Sydney).

I have seen Next To Normal live. Twice, well one and a half but I’ll get to that. I was aware of the show and eager to see it as it doesn’t have a movie adaption yet which was unfortunate for me. When I found out that I not only had an opportunity to see the show but that it was a mandatory requirement of the live production course I was studying I was ecstatic. I had memorised the soundtrack and even listened to it in the car on the three hour trip to Melbourne. Nobody else in my course was even half as excited as I was. I felt like a small child being humoured by a car full of adults.

The first time we made the trek was to witness a dress rehearsal/tech run of the second act. We were supposed to be watching from a tech perspective but I was mesmerised. The second time we saw the entire show. The person sitting next to me had to remind me at the end to shut my mouth. My mind was blown. I wanted to cry as I have been known to do when I become too happy, sad or excited. I couldn’t process what I felt especially in front of my peers. I’m sure Next to Normal means so much to me because I find some of the subject matter relatable. It amazes me that a musical could be made on the topic of mental health in such a way that was both dark and uplifting, sad and funny, and that makes the show oh so satisfying.

I have met people who love musicals. I have met people who love theatre. I have met people who love and live music and I was raised by a handful of them. I haven’t ever met someone as enthusiastic and touched by these things as I have been. I know there are people who can relate to how I feel. The Internet has shown me I’m not alone. In some ways I feel like I’m glad to be alone in my love because it makes me feel like I have something all my own. It’s just me up late listening to my soundtracks.